Sometimes, I feel like I'm just now passing through the stages others around me experienced years ago. During those moments, I don't need someone to give me advice; I just want someone who will stand by my side and offer their support. When I feel isolated in these emotions, I start to feel like a burden, and I want to distance myself. Life moves at different speeds for everyone, and while we can share our experiences, that doesn't mean someone always has to say, "I've been through that."
Wholeness. Redemption. Being understood. Being seen. Being blessed. Being rooted. Being relaxed. Purification. Unfiltered. None of these words fully capture it, but each one holds a piece. Because no feeling can be described with just one word. The most beautiful part is that sometimes this ambiguity goes far beyond any definitions. It's simply being, exactly as you are.
As emotions deepen, it no longer matters which sea you're swimming in. I close my eyes and freeze my memories in the moonlight. After a long time, I spent a week where every second was filled with peace. A week where I revisited every memory and found myself again. A string of moments where I saw that each feeling gains meaning when its time has come... Some coincidences truly shine brightly.
However, at times, I feel lost in the darkness. As if I have nothing left to hold on to. It feels like there isn't a single bubble of air in this world to breathe in. As if there are hands squeezing both my heart and mind, watching me struggle and taking pleasure in it. Every day, I grow more and more worn out by this feeling. The pain is no longer just mental; I feel it physically, and there's nowhere left to run.
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