Ah, well, shit, just stick a tire iron in my nasal cavity and tell me it's dental surgery, I guess I'm making one of these again. Now, you might be asking yourself why any reasonable patron of the fine arts would start a personals ad with some janky-ass squalor like that, to which I will respond that I've been on Reddit for a long time, like since spacedicks and jailbait were still one degree away from being mainstream communities, and being that I am both schizoaffective and autistic, I have to sum up my experiences socializing on this site by saying that it is rare and miraculous to come across someone as on the fringe of culture who lives by their own self-created value system as someone like myself.

Fortunately, the aliens that live in my phone and home exercise equipment have trained me how to be a fisher of men via a rigorous psychotronic reprogramming module. So, as you can tell, I'm a crackhead, but that's not all! If you can believe it, I'm also a juggler, and if you can keep a secret from mommy and daddy, I'll tell you that I'm the leader of a cult, but I'll stimmie that train of thought here to say that's all dazzle camoflouge to hide the fact that I work with the FBI CIA fulfilling a role here on Reddit, writing propaganda and doing counterintelligence work, and, as we in the network all take as our personal duty, recruiting future agents and taking them outta the matrix, but don't tell the real FBI that. They be eyeballin' my ass for a solid minute like a teenage boy oogles at the first pair of boobs he's ever seen in person.

Now, I know this deplorable waterfall of smegma, chime, and diarrhea I'm spewing with my thumb right now onto your screen has got you rolling your eyes, if you haven't already smashed the back button on your browser like a vengeful god taking the anal virginity of his rival god's daughter's asshole. And all I gotta say to that is: this is all intentional.

See, I'm the type of schizo-autismo idiot savant who deviated from her God-given path in life, like pretty majorly, and to protect the timeline, God enlisted the help of the deep state to MKULTRA my sorry ass and sent me on a spiritual odyssey of greatly accelerated growth and healing where I learned, among many other things, how to garner hundreds of thousands of views on my profile, and thus get people to read my free edutainment, by none other than utilizing the full potential of the wonderful world of incestuous necrophilia. I'll pause for effect here, but if you're not really hearing what I'm saying, I'll cipher it out by telling you that, while I am sincere and genuine in my quest for another soul like me, this is an autobiographical character that I'm jibbin' this ish with, and I wear this mask because I've learned that this amount of attention I can manifest makes it hard to find people that are genuinely awesome. Thus, by being the freaky village idiot, I try to simultaneously drive away those souls that won't jive with me and my antics, whilst opening a portal for new friends to stumble upon me and relationships to be formed.

This is actually how I met my life partner, who gave me the nod to start fishing for diamonds in the rough, as it were. It was about a year ago we bumped into each other and exchanged some poetry and then started talking and then he moved to Portland to be homeless with me before we went to go be homeless in Phoenix, which is where we're happily housed now. I just, I dunno. I don't want to use the fackin' magick (ie: sales and marketing skills) that the Illuminati added to my toolbox in order to sell my authentic self to the world. I just wanna be me, and here I am, shining as I do.

I guess this is the conclusion to this post. No need for frills. If I'm who you're looking for, you'll know it by now. So, I say until we meet on this digital ocean, may peace be with you, and keep being radically you. 💚✌️