"Are you sure you wanted a partner, or are you merely tolerating one?"

It started with that question by my excellent psychologist. It remains a question I haven't properly answered. In fact, this post is to gather the data needed to do that.

Later on she said, "It's not necessarily the case that everything one wants is fulfilled by another. Splitting it into multiple consenting people is always possible."

That remark brought me to the rich world of ENM and polyamory. I've only been watching until now, but I feel like I'm ready to step in deeper. Hence this post. To seek partners. Restricting myself to only ladies for the moment, to control the variables in the study.

Regarding the types of ladies I seek, I have no real criteria in mind. We will obviously have to find each other attractive, but this is a 'I know it when I see it' sort of thing. Some degree of forthrightness are perhaps required. I have only respect for those who prefer to 'take it slow', but there is a way of doing that that is simply incompatible with me. Namely purely textual/online for what might as well be an eternity. I have to know I am dealing with a real person, and I am not the type to wait too long for that knowledge. 'Fail fast, and fail often' is merely a filtering method I use.

Of course, meeting up in person is even better, and I like for this to happen sooner than later. On that, I live in Germany. Most places in central Europe are within reach, and I might be moving to a new city fairly soon. Don't hesitate to reach out.

Outside of Europe, I visit Malaysia sometimes. Family. So Malaysians are more than welcome [*].

I used to be a scientist, performing experiments on particles and making sense of the data they generate. Statistics and coding, in order to do physics. Now I am wondering if physics is what I want to continue doing. The questions of whether the procedures we use to make sense of things themselves make sense, and how can we be sure are on my mind a lot so I'm considering a few other fields I can get into to further my knowledge.

More intimately, I am somewhat introspective, as the tone of this post might suggest. I like going on random spontaneous journeys, to see and experience new things. Though I seem to need at least another person to do that... it's just not the same either by myself (my headspace is not too different on the bed or in the club) or in a group (interaction intensity seems to be a constant, and with larger groups each member gets an increasingly vapid share, leaving me unsatisfied) so yeah. Partners.

Other than that, I am into neurodivergence, philosophy, psychedelics, fantasy, mathematics, music of indeterminate genres... eh. No need for a list.

My top three qualities are, as described by... 0- psychologist: independence 1- a lady I met in a spiritual bootcamp: kindness 2- a close friend: intelligence Hard for me to say if they are correct. I can only evaluate my experience, not myself.

If any of the above intrigues you, feel free to contact me. Let us bask in each others' glorious raw selves. Let us figure out the best arrangement that works for us. Be that a single weekend, multiple intense pulses, or something more stable. I don't have a relationship degradation mechanism, so they are all perfectly good. Neither will I judge what is your situation outside of us (but I will want to know, as part of knowing who you are). The only things I request are that you don't force yourself to stay when it feels like a chore. I am doing this to learn how it is like to care more than merely tolerating so the worst thing is to be merely tolerated.

Let us see where this leads.

[*] you might similarly feel how messy it is in Malaysia. if the types matter to you, I am officially assigned as type M. it makes no difference to me what yours are.