Listen. I know. You've gone through these subreddits a bunch of times. You always see these posts written by men who are clearly too goddamn low effort and are looking for a sexual fantasy and not a person or a connection, or couples looking for their unicorn. It is exhausting. Dating apps aren't much better either.

I'm polyamorous (duh) and partnered but we date separately. We ideally practice Kitchen Table Polyamory.

Well, I have a well formatted list of reasons why you should perhaps send me a message or a chat request. Also, I love list formats so it gives me the chance to indulge in them. So, what are you waiting for? Grab a drink, sit back and see if you vibe with what I'm throwing down.

Part 1 or Why 9 out of 10 Doctors would recommend me

A basic breakdown of myself:

• 39 years old (god, I know, practically ancient)
• Living in the Midwest but love to travel
• Work in tech (what a shock? Dude working in tech on Reddit??)
• Owner of two lovely and bratty cats
• 6' foot, chubby/thicc, bearded (neatly trimmed!), glasses and a charming as hell smile. Brown skinned
• Politically and socially a leftist.

Hobbies, interests, how I spend my too little free time

• Love to cook, anything from Indian and Pakistani food to Italian, Thai and what not
• Big fan of traveling. So far I've hit up Spain, France, Saudi Arabia, Dubai, various parts of Canada and France
• Nerdy/dork. Love to read and watch fantasy, scifi, true crime, horror and more. I play board games as well as tabletop games
• Long nature walks (I do not enjoy hiking), trying out cool hole in the wall food places, museums, libraries and more!
• 420 friendly. Rarely drink except in social situations

Part 2: Electric Boogaloo or what I'm looking for/not looking for

Things I look for in someone

• Kindness and empathy
• Good communication skills, being able to be upfront about your wants and needs
• Respecting boundaries and limits
• Playful, silly but also enjoys being serious about things at times
• Good banter!
• Open minded, kinky and enthusiastic!
• Bringing effort into dynamics and relationships
• Someone open to a long term connection, whether its casual or grows into something more

Things I enjoy doing with someone

• Long walks and cozy nights in
• Cuddling up and watching horror films (or any, really)
• Enjoying each others company while we each do our own thing in the same room
• Bruising your throat butt
• Going to museums, restaurants, parks. Just enjoying each others company
• Texting, voice calls, video calls during the day/night

Things I am NOT looking for

• Being someone's distraction
• Disrespect, wasting of time
• A one time fling/stand
• Conservatives
• Doing all the heavy lifting when it comes to conversations

Part 3: Epilogue or why you should message me

I know, it is a very large post so far. I felt being detailed and putting myself out there would be the best way to find someone(s) I truly connect with. One of my pet peeves are extremely short responses or posts that don't give me an idea of who someone is. Bear with me, we're almost done.

Message me if:

• You smiled and/or laughed during all of this
• You feel like you vibe with my post
• You are looking for something more than just a distraction
• If you fucking want to! I'm not your Daddy (yet)!

So, we come to the end of this novel. If you are intrigued, send me a chat request or a DM. I'd love if you'd include details about yourself, what you're looking for, what drew you to my post. A SFW face picture would also go a long way and I'd share one back. I hope you enjoyed your time here. Have a great day/night!