HI! I’m 38 and Enby. AMAB and Masc presenting. They/He pronouns. 

I’ve been very happily married for 15 years and poly for that entire time, w/ strong opinions about the ethics of priority, privilege, and hierarchy. 

Dating solo, though non-compulsory kitchen table can be just a delight. 

💜💛🖤🏳️‍🌈Very intentionally growing my poly/queer/neurodivergent community 🧠🌶️💪

Not dating, but not *not* dating either. Think Relationship Anarchy, but not religiously so. 

I’m demisexual and demiromantic. I find front-loading romantic and/or sexual connection can be super challenging as a recovering people pleaser and trauma survivor, and prefer to really focus on building meaningful friendships with the space for that to build and grow. 

Another way of putting it is I’d way rather take my time working up to meaningful trust than do the damage of control pulling back from something hastily developed. Part of my relationship to consent is: If it feels like I'm being rushed the answer has to be no.  

I’m also just way past the point of mediocre connection, and enthusiastic content attunement is table stakes. 

All of that said, I am highly energetic, adventurous, snuggly, service-oriented, and energetic when there’s good chemistry. Very switchy/fluid, and sexuality is one of the best things about being alive.

I’m bi/pansexual, and generally connect with all genders.  

Big on proactive communication, healthy boundaries, and mutuality. 
Considerate, loquacious, enthusiastic, and deliberate. Highly earnest.
I hate ironic detachment and believe humor is about perspective. 

Seeking similar

I connect really well with people who value accountability and compassion. 
People who lead with curiosity and honesty. 
Courage in the face of discomfort is a big thing for me as well as the ability to sit in awkwardness and name the thing. 

I’m looking for people who are actively working to understand their own internalization and normalization of living in a white supremacist, capitalist, colonialist, patriarchy, and work toward something different. 

Not Sober, but very sensitive to substance use and am seeking people who seek balance in their lives. 

I’m enthusiastically seeking joy and play with new special interest friends who are looking to “yes and” my excitement. 
I find shared activities are a really great way to build relationships. 
I have a *lot* of special interests that I somehow make time for, including: 

🌊🌅 Freediving, Spearfishing, Fishing, Ocean Kayaking🤿🎣

🚜🪵 Construction, Milling, Fine Carpentry 🪚🌱

🌲🏔️ Camping, Foraging, Hunting, Farming, Homesteading 🍄🏕️

🍳🍞Cooking, Fermenting, Preserving, Baking 🍗🍱

📷🎥 Photography, Videography, Music Recording/Performance🎶🥁

🕹️🎮Gaming, especially if you’re into POE/Tarkov/ESO 🤩🤯

I love to read, mostly psych, fantasy, and Sci-Fi. 

Favorite books: 

📚🥰Polysecure, Nonviolent Communication, The Will to Change, Lord of the Butterflies 

🐉🚀 Brando Sando, Anne Leckie, NK Jemisen, Jenn Lyons, James SA Corey, Robin Hobb, Joe Abercrombie

I’m obsessed with any content by Madeline Pendleton, Michael Hobbes, and Jason Pargin. 

I spent about 70% of my time in Los Angeles, and the rest in Mendocino County where I’m working on expanding an off the grid homestead. 

I’m currently in the process of felling trees and milling the lumber for bragging rights, and planning a very open-ended future there.