This C.A.R.E unit will soon be located in the suburbs near Madison, Wisconsin but is open to further locations within the U.S. This unit is also polyamorous/ethically non-monogamous and partnered. We date separately.

The C.A.R.E unit (Caring Attentive Respectful Empathetic) is our latest and greatest invention. Carefully tailored to make sure your experience is as smooth, respectful, interesting and enjoyable as possible, the C.A.R.E unit is our biggest breakthrough! The following are the current specifications for this specific unit.

SPECIFICATIONS:

• The unit is currently 38 years of age, slightly used but operating at (almost) peak efficiency.
• This unit comes in size SQUISHY for maximum cuddling efficiency. Height is set at 5'11. Brown skin (alternative color skins not available) and glasses to give an air of sophistication (and due to a mishap at the optics factory).
• Currently fluent in two different languages (English and Urdu) and a smattering of French.
• Experienced in conversational topics such as "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck food?", the science of maximum cuddling, politics, social issues, music, movies, television, travel, cooking, gaming, science and more!
• Comes equipped with self care which includes the following but is not limited to: cooking, breathing, having a career, grooming, not dying in his own filth and a relatively sane brain.
• Ideally this unit is assigned to a local or somewhat nearby person but it is not adverse to longer distances.
• Unit comes with optional (but much recommended) spicy toggles for those that are looking for something more than vanilla. If you know, you know. Contact and ask for more information on these toggles for details.

This unit requires minimal upkeep but if you are interested in making sure it is operating consistently at 96.7% and higher efficiency, the following methods help sustain it.

HOW TO SUSTAIN YOUR C.A.R.E UNIT:

• Cuddling and general physical affection makes this unit happy and a happy C.A.R.E unit means you are a happy person!
• Compliments go a long way to keep the mood positive for said unit.
• Cookies, cake and other forms of highly delicious baked goods will be much appreciated.
• Spending quality time with the C.A.R.E unit is potentially the most efficient way to maintain it.
• Playful conversation as well as serious keeps the C.A.R.E unit brain operating in the highest of levels.
• Butt touches.

So how do you get your C.A.R.E unit today? Just fill out the following application and send it right in! We need to make sure the C.A.R.E unit is matched up with the best possible candidate.

APPLICATION FORM:

• Age
• General location
• Interests and hobbies
• Why you feel that you would be a good fit for the C.A.R.E unit

Order now and you will get the official SCINTILLATING CONVERSATIONAL PACK for absolutely free!

I hope you enjoyed reading that. Just a bit about me and my current relationship - currently engaged to a lovely lady. I want to state and restate - not looking for unicorns here.

I hope I don't have to state this but fully vaxxed and boosted and i hope you are too