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With no will left to date, I've given up hope entirely. Between STI stigma, lack of online dating skills (or any social skills), a receding hairline, advancing gut, awkwardness, autism, depression, general existential termoil and plain bad luck... Well, there's not much room left in my life for making fun and/or romantic connections.
Instead, I'm just looking for a crying buddy.
Let's stay up late watching depressing movies, trade lame-ass sad stories and cat pics, talk about all the fun we could have had if we weren't maladaptive freaks, go to the drive-in to watch a movie we both hate, maybe even cut loose and take a short trip somewhere nice so we can be sad in a different environment.
Who am I looking for? Literally anyone. I have no self-esteem or standards, and am desperate for validation and acceptance from anyone. The more dysfunctional and toxic the dynamic, the better (I don't like leaving my comfort zone).
Worried about sexy stuff and/or boundaries? That's cool! Chances are we're completely incompatible since I have herpes and thus considered repulsive by 99.9% of the poly community. I'm actually incapable of making a move on you since I'm so traumatized by rejection!
Disclosure: I actually do have HSV-2 (herpes), so take the paragraph above seriously. I am literally a biohazard you should avoid at all cost. Seriously, I'm gross.
So, if for some concerning reason you're weirdly attracted to this post and can't tell why.. Slide into my DM's! At the very least, I guarantee I'll make you cringe harder than you've cringed all day.
.. Just don't say I didn't warn you 🤷🏼🙃😓
P.S. No cops, military, bootlickers, fascists, christians or republicans please. I'm sad, not masochistic.
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- 1 year ago
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