Title says it all. I am married and have another partner locally, but recently tried dating again, since i was solo traveling in a foreign place. Thought it might be nice to date with low expectation while i have the freedom.

We matched on okc and things seems to be going well, seems respectful. It was a man who were a bit older than me. I met him for about 3 times total and since the first 2 dates seems to be going okay, i went all out and did my hair and makeup nicely to make the 3rd date more fun. I chose to do a side sweep braid since it looks nice and was very excited to doll up and wear a feminine skirt and nice blouse. The dinner date itself went well but we had argument after dinner, when we went back to his place.

He was trying to solve the fact that i am leaving town. What shocked me was the time that i had with him was fairly positive and i did not expected him to flip on me. He became insecure and dismissive and just saying rude things. Using his age against me. Saying condescending things. I was in so much shocked that I just went on full on sobbing, with my cute make up and hair. I did not know how to stand up for myself since i felt so threathened.

I felt like an idiot and I was very scared because I am in a foreign place, and it was very late for me to get back to my airbnb. So i felt forced to sleep there, but i had a terrible panic attack instead. It has been many years since i had panic attack this badly. In the morning, i felt so awful, so scared and i just needed some help, but i was alone since i was solo traveling. I kept crying for hours that morning and i still cry today thinking about the event. I had to travel that day, my eyes were swollen and had to take some anti anxiety meds just to help me get through the day. I was in such shocked that i was afraid of my surrounding, like people brushing up against me, loud noises and light. I felt like I did not take care of myself well and I am feeling afraid of trusting anyone else right now.

This experience just feel like a trauma to me and I am not sure if anyone would be willing to chat, but i can use some kind gentle friends to talk to right now. It can be about anything mundane like food, movies, art, music or pets.

Thank you for reading.