I'm in an open marriage with an existing nesting partner. I've thought about what I'm looking for and it comes to these traits five traits:

1. Financial competence - I grew up alternating between incredible privilege and teetering on poverty. I learned family is not a good fallback, so I decided to do my best to not need them. It mostly worked; I make a good living and have zero debt. I don't want to have children and I would like a partner who can contribute to the partnership monetarily and is comfortable talking about finances, investments, and plans for the future. I'm not looking for the picket fence dream, but I do want to be able to plan a future and deploy resources to achieve that plan.

2. Having a realistic picture of your abilities, availability, or resources - if you're often making grand plans that depend mostly on getting incredibly lucky, then yeah. No thanks. This is related to the next thing.

3. Consistent follow-through - the biggest bee in my bonnet is when we agree to do something, and my partner often doesn't come through with their part because [insert some consistent reason here].

4. Intelligence and wit - I am a neurotypical dude who was a "gifted child" (blech). Then I started reading Steve Biko and Frantz Fanon, which opened my eyes to how my blackness affects how my intelligence is seen. In this country, there's nothing more dangerous than a negro with a library card, and I have always lived dangerously 😉

5. Health - I stay active. I can still do an eight minute mile, and my 10×3 pull up set. I got into therapy at 19 to heal my traumas and made a lot of progress. I love pizza with pineapple, the occasional burger, and the occasional pre-dinner cocktail/post-dinner glass of brandy. I don't smoke tobacco, but I don't mind THC use. I tend to prefer edibles though.

If you vibe with this, send me a chat or DM. Be in the DMV because proximity is key for connection.