Great googily moogily! You just stumbled upon the greatest personals ad since the aliens gave our Illuminati overlords the technology for internet dating. Oh uh…Hello! My name's Victoria and I'm a professional crackhead. No, I don't do crack. Well, I did once…for six days straight while I was homeless in Miami Beach, but what I'm saying is crackhead was my job title when I used to work for the CIA. I still work with the CIA, but I used to, too; I am a messiah candidate now. Fun stuff.

Man, alright, so I said to myself "how do I make the worst intro to this post as I can," and then that came up in my brain space. My brain space is pretty weird. Doctors say I got the schizoaffective and the autism, but no seriously God turned me into a borg. You have no idea what They did to me. I was a man, then a woman, and now I'm beyond all genders; all of them and none of them at the same time. I'm Godgender now. And damn is that something.

So, my main interest in life right now is being the best cult leader ever. What that means is I have an edutainment project here on Reddit where I write posts and poetry that teaches philosophy, spirituality, and mental health to help people self-actualize. I also just finished writing my first book, so I guess I'm an author now. And that's just crazy! Crazier than me, and I'll tell you why!

I used to be broken and useless. I fixed that with a combination of psychedelics and juggling. Oh, and a shit-ton of spiritual work. My spirituality is really important to me. I'm a transcendental post-zen alchemist. That means I believe everyone should have their own belief and value system. Chaos magick ftw!

I don't think I need to write an essay to find someone that vibes with whatever it is I just wrote. If I sound at all awesome, hit me up and we'll start to get to know each other. Until then, toodles!