I don't really trust general r-relationship advice and this relationship is poly so I feel comfortable asking here.

My partner and I have been together for 8ish years and poly for about 2. This question actually has nothing to do with polyamory because that part is fine.

She has been dressing more masc lately and not shaving her legs and shorter hair and I am learning that I lean way more towards attraction to generally femme things. So I find myself losing attraction to her over those changes.

I understand relationships don't survive on attraction alone especially with aging (I am only 30 so anticipating that eventually.) But also it's really tough for me right now as I am losing that drive to initiate sex alongside this change.

Is this something I should talk to her about? Every way I am imagining that conversation going feels really fucking awful. And not talking also feels bad because those changes in feelings are still happening.

Any older people around here who have gone through changes in attraction during longer term relationships with wisdom to share?