I posted this in the NM sub as well but

It just is crazy to me how everytime there's a post where someone reacts absolutely horribly to their partner for daring to bring up the idea of non-monogamy/polyamoury the comments are basically like "Ya they deserved it" "They ended the relationship as soon as they said they wanted to sleep with other people" or "They have someone in mind/already cheating".

You can't even dare to think about it and tell your partner, who is supposed to be a safe space, how you're feeling, if your needs aren't being met, or just fantasies without it being an attack on them personally or a fuck you to the relationship according to Reddit. Acting like that just breeds people to not communicate their desires and feelings to the one person they should be able to but we're the ones who are bad partners right? Love the irony

ETA: I'm not saying people aren't allowed to have upset reactions to their partner saying they want to open the relationship. I'm not saying they can't walk away from that relationship. I'm saying it's unacceptable in an adult relationship to punish your partners vulnerability. You can not like what your partner has to say. You don't get to be mad at them for saying it. If they can't talk to you about your relationship you're a bad partner. If they can't bring up things you might not like you're a bad partner. If you can't healthily communicate your boundaries instead of screaming and blowing up and telling them they're a bad person for their wants you're a bad partner. And I'm more specifically talking about people who aren't even asking for non-monogamy just saying it's something they've thought about and asking for their partners thoughts on it and being met with "You're probably already cheating" or "Well I guess you don't want to be together anymore". Just sharing considerations not saying "I want this and if you don't then we're done". It is a fundamental change to the relationship so of course your partner may not be on board. But they still need to treat you with respect and communicate like an adult about it.