I’m currently struggling and looking for advice from anyone who has been in this situation. The tl;dr is I’m unable to get pregnant. One of my partners (P) is actively trying to get a meta pregnant. It’s been more than a year and exploring options so another one of P’s partners has offered to surrogate. . . So I’m trans masc and on HRT. Even before starting Testosterone I had issues getting pregnant and have had three past miscarriages. My fertility wasn’t great to begin with and starting testosterone has permanently changed some things that makes it very likely I will need a hysterectomy within a year or two. And I’m completely infertile right now. I just found that out in the last couple weeks and have only recently begun to process that new reality. Meanwhile. My partner P has been trying to get S (p’s spouse and my meta) pregnant for some time. Well P told me that another of his partners K offered for surrogate for them (told me about a week ago and about two weeks after I found out about my own fertility.) I’m currently really struggling. I was socialized as a woman and taught / conditioned from a young age that I should want children and that I’m failing something if I don’t. I grew up in a very conservative and religious household. Now it feels like I have nothing to bring to the table. P is going to have a baby with S, and K is going to help that process. That’s a whole huge connection I’m not a part of and so I’m just on the outside of them building a family and worthless to the whole thing. I’ve already struggled with feeling like P puts everyone else above me. Anyone else experience infertility in a polycule where everyone else has kids or can get pregnant? How did you cope with feelings like not being part of the family if that came up for you? I know comparison is the thief of joy but it just feels like I’m going to be left behind.