First of all, I know 100% that anything my partner does with someone else is none of my business. I know I'm not entitled to accurate information at all, or any information, really. I'm really trying to work through my desire for accurate information without involving my partner at all, it's just a difficult process for me, for some reason.

Anyway, my LDR partner Aspen keeps giving me conflicting information or information that doesn't match up with their actions regarding their in-person relationship with Birch. I know I'm not entitled to accurate information at all, I just find it frustrating and confusing when they tell me "Birch knows I can't be the primary partner they want, it's just casual" while Aspen is spending 4 days a week on dates with Birch. I know, it's none of my business when Aspen is going on dates, but they mention it to me, and they'd feel weird keeping such a big part of their life secret from me.

I suppose my biggest issue is that Aspen is supposed to be moving here to be with me within the next couple months. They tell me that their relationship with Birch isn't going to change their desire to follow our plans at all, but when they tell me Birch definitely doesn't want to do long distance and they have enough of an emotional connection that they'll really miss Birch if their relationship ends, I feel pretty concerned about our future plans. Not having the information makes me anxious, but having information that doesn't match up with the things Aspen is saying makes me more anxious. I know that nothing about that relationship is my business, and I shouldn't have feelings about it. I shouldn't know about Birch's desire to have a primary partner, and I shouldn't know about Aspen's feelings for Birch, so I know that none of that should matter to me.

It's just that, if Aspen isn't going to follow the plans we've agreed upon, I'd like to have some notice. I know I'm not entitled to that, and I know people break up without notice all the time, but it doesn't stop me from being anxious. I'm trying not to be an entire problem about this, really. I mostly just wanted to talk about it in a space where people wouldn't be anti-polyamory about it, and maybe get some kind advice?