I'm new to poly (~8 months). I'm in the process of developing an agreement/my boundaries to discuss with my partner. At the moment, the one stipulation that I asked for was that if he were to match & chat with a new person I'd like to be notified. I wanted an early heads up because I wanted the chance to decide if I was ok with it. If I didn't feel good about it, I'd exit the relationship because if I couldn't handle that then I def couldn't handle news of him doing anything else. I found out of at least one other relationship where he'd already had sex before he came clean. We talked it through and I'm still here.

Today he told me he's been chatting with a woman who lives around my area and he may meet her. I asked some details around the level of time commitment this woman is expecting out of him & the type of relationship she's looking to have with him. He pushed back on giving this info. I asked the same about the other relationship and he pushed back also. Both times he said he wanted to respect their privacy. I only asked because if they're expecting a big time investment from him, it affects my ability to spend time with him. It's directly relevant to me, so I felt it was reasonable to know. I'm disappointed he's more concerned with respecting their right to privacy vs my right to feel safe and taken care of in this relationship.

TL;DR: what's a reasonable expectation of info you can ask about your meta/s? What kinds of things have you asked to know about?