This is happened a number of times, and I need to figure out if I have an unrealistic expectations I’m being an asshole.

Trying to setup date nights or things with my wife she says no to me but later says yes to her boyfriend.

2 recent examples:

1. When Top Gun came out, I wanted to sit down watch the original one and then go see the new one. She says they were not her types of movies and has no interest. So, ok I do it by myself and have a great time. Months later she asks me (which I appreciate) if she can do the exact same thing with her boyfriend because he asked to do it.

2. I asked to do cooking classes to help improve our skills in the kitchen and try new things. She says no, she has too much anxiety in the kitchen. Months later we are at a chefs kitchen which does classes and it gets brought up by someone in our group. I am expecting her to say no due to our last conversation however, she says yes after her boyfriend says it would be fun.

When this happens it hurts me and I try to explain that it hurts me. While talking about gets thrown back that she should be able to change her mind. For me it’s not that she says no to the thing, it’s that she says no to me but yes to the same thing with someone else.