This is the first time I've tried dating several people while in a primary relationship. We had a closed mono relationship before but after some talks decided to try dating other people as well. Both of us are open and willing about it, so there's no pressuring.

The problem I've now come up with is how to facilitate meetings with a new partner with whom I share a BDSM kink. We both live together with our primary partners, and my new partner has children as well. Although both of our partners are both aware and accepting of our relationship, having noisy and messy kinky sex while his children are home in the other room or my partner is working from home (we only have one bedroom apartment) doesn't seem very respectful.

How to solve this? Neither of us is "home alone" often, and getting a hotel room or AirBnB isn't a financially solid solution long term. Have others made it work while their primary partners have been home at the same time?