Just a little ☆☆☆UPDATE☆☆☆, first chat went well and we are going to use the incredibly useful checklist of topics I found on the other sub for more discussion.

I'm looking forward to stepping into this new adventure with the man I love so much 😊 Regardless of the outcome, I'm super grateful for the really specific information I found to help learn about Poly relationships, as well just the general intentionality that this information brought me for communication in my marriage. Such a cool new set of relationship tools!

¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤

Hey everyone, good to be here. So here's the dealio:

I am a (30F) who is pan and I am married to a (29M) who is straight. We have been friends since age 13/14, togwther for 10 years and happily married for 6 years with 3 very busy boys. I love my husband more than words can describe. He is an amazing man, who has taken on the role of male influenece to my oldest son since he was just a year old. He is Dad. Our youngest we had together. Our life gets kinda crazy as we are an entirely neurodiverse household (all have adhd and anxiety, hubby has Bipolar 1, I have BPD as well as suspected ASD and my oldest is has a diagnosis of ASD and we all have wild sensory profiles lol) however, we have worked really hard to make our chaos work. We love each other fiercely, forgive easy and often and have a growth mindset. I love what we have and never would want to mess it up.

I recently discovered polyamory was a thing and finally found a way to describe my beliefs on love, sex and romance. I am poly at heart and would like to practice, however I don't currently out of respect for my dear husband. He is pretty open minded and we have had a couple threesomes before with a close friend (36F)with no worries of jealousy. He has discussed being open to more of those with other close friends and I'd be cool with it. And we joke around alot with one friend (29F) in particulal about "sister wives" we have been crazy close with since high-school. They have lived together multiple times as teens within and outside of group homes. We have all lived together recently with all of our children between ages 2-10 with great success. We all love each other dearly and her children are our God Kids.

Her and I have hooked up in the past and 100% would date if we were single. Her boyfriend has recently expressed he is ok with her dating a woman. This peaked my interest and I wonder if my husband would be open to me actively practicing being poly starting with her. I can be open with him about anything but am nervous bringing it up will make him feel hurt or not enough which couldn't be further from the truth. I also want to express my hopes of being able to freely practice regardless of the gender of my person/people of interest. I am not sure he will be kosher with that which I would respect. I just hope to be able to have some good talking points about that in particular.

I love that we are practicing communal living loosely with our close friend group as we have been more successful in all our lives doing so and tbelieve wholeheartedly we need each other as humans to survive and thrive. We all have strengths and weaknesses we can support each other with and unique gifts to share with our loves ones, emotionally and physically and omI don't think we were built to have 2 people be anything and everything for one another.

I'm wondering if anyone has tips on how to go through this process with everyone's dignity in tact and what kind of things to discuss if he decides that he is open to it.

I want to know if there's things I haven't thought of I'm terms of boundaries, shared time, honesty, and just the basics of successful fulfiing polyamory. I want to leave no stone unturned in learning about this lifestyle choice.

Additionally, I am completely ignorant to the definitions of terms related to poly relationships, like hinge, metamor etc. So if someone fill me in or direct me to articles or posts that go in depth on those that would be so greatly appreciated!

Thanks in advance 😊 I can't wait to learn more!