So I(22F) started dating B(24NB) 8 months ago. We've become very close, even to the point of introducing one another to our families. We've been through a lot together, but we have issues with sex. B doesn't know how they feel about sex. They might be some kind of asexual, but are still figuring that out. We haven't had sex in a long time, and in their mind, "sex" only goes as far as over the clothes touching. They have dissociated when touching me, leading to them gradually disengaging from sex without realizing. I have mentioned to them that that worries me, and that I also feel generally unfulfilled sexually. They are trying to figure out what is going on, but also seem to be trying to avoid the problem. As well as that, on numerous occasions we have planned to have sex, with them promising that they would, only for them to back out at the last minute. This usually ends in me having to comfort them despite feeling dejected and unfulfilled. Often at the ends of these conversations, they will claim that they feel better about/more comfortable with sex, only for things to be exactly the same next time. I have other sexual relationships but without any kind of real sexual contact with B, I've stopped even looking at sex as an option with them. This is despite them often promising me that they are open to sex, or more open than they actually are.

Them promising sex they won't have is a recurring pattern in their relationships, with the difference being that in the past they were dating men, and being that B is a lesbian they of course did not actually want to follow through. But they are replicating that same pattern with me, and then promising not to in the future. Then we try again, only for a planned sexual encounter to end in me comforting them again.

On top of this, trauma (non-sexual) that B has faced in the past has lead to them often acting like a child around middle school age. Their ideas about things like sex and relationships have, according to them, stagnated since middle school. Sometimes, my relationship with them feels like I'm dating a young teenager, which feels weird and uncomfortable. They seek approval from me like a parental figure. They can only picture sex as a cut to black, like on a TV show. Once they're in the act, they slowly disengage from it and then either don't realize they've stopped or at least pretend to. After them doing the same things so many times, I don't feel like I can trust them, and I feel like I can't even talk to them about this because their anxiety piques and they start seeking reassurance that I won't leave them. Any issue makes them fear that I'll leave them, and I don't know if I can believe what they tell me anymore. I was ok with reassuring them at first, but it feels like no matter how many times I tell them that I won't leave them they still need to be told again. More and more, as these things grate on me and my sexual needs are completely unmet, I wonder if I should be in this relationship at all.

I have no clue what to do, please help.

TLDR; My partner has weird issues with intimacy and seems dependent on me emotionally.