I think I would be happy with either monogamy or non-monogamy but I’m not sure A little bit about my dating history: I haven’t really dated since I was 18, which was five years ago. Since then I have been on a handful of dates and have been in a relationship with 2 people 1 of them lasting three months and I hated every minute of it I was depressed at the time and the other I did was for like three weeks and it was good until he wanted other things(i’ll get back to this) In high school when I was dating someone I would be wanting to date other people constantly of course I never really was just like “oh polyamory!” because I didn’t really know what it was back then and there was a lot of negative stigma around it but now it has been destigmatized for me The opposite end of the spectrum this guy that was doing for three weeks I do have BPD so this person became my favorite person so we had a really like so they were boyfriend and girlfriend we were monogamous we had talked about it and then a week later he was like hey I want to back it up and I also want to be dating other people that kind of destroyed me and I think it was more that he was my favorite person and he wanted to back it up and we weren’t like together together anymore if that makes sense Now I’m living with a friend who is polyamorous and well I’ve been hearing there horror stories with polyamory I see some of the good of what it is and The idea polyamory is growing on me but I don’t know if that’s me being mean or if that’s me projecting someone else on to me Anyways I would like to maybe hear how you figured it out or what questions you asked yourself or what you feel defines polyamory