Hi guys, I've (27F) been poly with my bf (35M) for 9 mo so still pretty new and wondering if my feelings are valid. I was in an 8 yr mono relationship before that and have never been poly before. I don't want to come across as materialistic or anything. He's been poly for about 6 years.

Even though me and my partner have set aside one night a week for date night, it always seems to end up being something fairly repetitive and inexpensive (movie night in w/ at home food or fast food). That isn't the main problem tho bc I do enjoy cuddling and any time really I get with him.

The rest of his week is filled with dates he has with other partners or new connections. They get more of the royal treatment, going to dinner, drinks and clubs. The last time we went to the club together was at the beginning of our relationship...

Any time I ask if we can do anything more, I feel like he gets super defensive and accuses me of using him for his money and being parasitic (even though the experiences id like to enjoy don't have to cost money.) I currently make way less than him and contribute where I can, but mostly my contributions are domestic. We are currently LDR and eventually will be living together, and I stay with him at the house whenever I visit and do his household errands. My goal is to be able to contribute more of my share of the finances when I'm in a better spot.

Is it wrong of me to want to go out and explore the world more with him and do different things? Experience different restaurants, bars, and other events that may not even necessarily cost money (free galleries, museums etc).

I understand that I should be grateful for whatever he pays for, but I can't seem to wrap my head around why he'll opt for a night in with me but spend four times the money on the rest of his dates that week.

Ty so much for the advice.