I come to this chat very confused but eager to learn more about polyamorous relationships and their benefits. I’ve always been open to the idea of open relationships since I don’t feel like settling down any time soon and the freedom of open relationships just tickles my fancy more since there isn’t any long term commitment or sacrifices/expectations that need to be made immediately. To give a little context, I am beyond infatuated with my lover and feel as if she is my soul mate and life partner and I want what’s best for her and she lets me know after a year into the relationship that she wants to be poly (she is bi and to be fair we were both our first experience at adult dating, and we are 23 now). We decided to give each other a break to really take the time to learn more about ourselves and to see where we stand on this matter. She is still hell bent on the idea of being poly and I am still stuck on the thought of being in an open relationship but I want us to work as lovers rather than platonic friends. She is not too fond of an open relationship since it involves a lot of communication and brainstorming, but I concur that so does literally any relationship and especially more so if you want to be poly. She has gamophobia(fear of commitment). I understand her stance on non monogamy but I can’t seem to understand the poly portion and have been looking into videos and podcasts on poly relationships but still can’t wrap my head around why people want these types of relationships since they seem so utterly and vastly convoluted and have a high probability of miscommunications occurring. Creating a hierarchy of your lovers just seems so unfair and pardon my language but so starkly ‘white’ to me. Regardless, any and all advice would be greatly appreciated since I am always open to expanding and shape shifting my perspective, thanks to anyone that can help!