I've (F28) just had two relationships end in quick succession of one another. One of the relationships was quite serious and with someone I care very deeply for, the other more casual and new.

First break up was quite messy and I've still got a lot of hangups over what happened, but essentially I during a state of being emotionally overwhelmed due to a job that has traumatised me (which I have quit because it affecting my relationships was the last straw) hurt her badly enough that she decided she needed to end things.

The thing I've struggled with this is a real lack of communication, I had to reach out for her to communicate that she was hurting, we then took space and by the time I had gotten to explain the situation she'd checked out, but wanted friendship.

This was the first time I ever really put myself out there and fought for a relationship, told her how I was feeling and what I wanted, she was sure of what she wanted and we agreed on being friends. She then later texted me and cancelled plans that we'd made because she needed time to process. I asked if we could do a check in with each other and never heard back.

Its been a month and I put in a lot of work to want just friendship but now I'm not sure anymore if I'm ever going to get that.

Feeling very stuck and unsure how I can let go of the hangups I have around this. I really care for this person and want them to do what's best for them but also really want her in my life in whatever capacity I can, so struggle with the fact that I may never hear from her, even after we both spoke of how important the other was in our lives and we wanted to keep each other around.

I feel like I'm in this state of limbo that I can't move forward from and need advice. My usual strategies of meditation, reading & learning really haven't been helping and idk where to go from here.