I am dipping my toes back into the dating scene and have met a few wonderful individuals. I am always open about polyamory and express the type that I like to practice. (Kitchen table) Or some version of it.

Anyway, I met a guy and he meets a lot of my needs/wants. He is very sweet and he is the one who contacted me. All seemed well and good. He is new to polyam, which is fine with me. What is not is that he didn't tell me he had a DADT with his girlfriend. For me, knowing everyone is consenting with the situation is so super important. I don't need to hold a conversation with her and we dont need to be friends but I do need to know I am not his side piece and he is not cheating. It can only be described as a timed relationship. They are together and love each other but they both know it's going to end? I feel that maybe he is using her as a placeholder until he finds something that better fits his wants and needs. I am unsure if I am just over thinking this since I have been out of the game, or if this is serious red flags.

I suppose what would you do if a potential partner had a dont ask dont tell in place? How would you navigate the situation?