I've been poly for 4 years, but for the last year and a half ive been seeing my partner ”A” exclusively. A knew I was poly when we met and has gone on dates while in a relationship before. We've been long-distance for a year now and only said "I love you" this summer.

The same summer I met ”B”. Me and B were very friendly at first texting and things started developing very slowly. I told A once me and B started actually flirting, but A felt betrayed and pushed me away. After talking, A calmed down and I was open about wanting to see B. A seemed okay with it, not wanting to hold me back.

I did my best to reassure A before my date with B and had a long phone call before leaving home and sent some cute messages throughout the night. I had a great time with B and we slept together.

When I checked my phone after B had left, A had sent anxious messages, feeling awful, uncomfortable with how quickly things were going. A pushed me away again, I apologised for how things had happened and we managed to work through it and our dynamic is back to normal.

I told B everything, and B was understanding and patient leaving us space. A understands I want to see B again but is still uncomfortable unsure how to handle it without suffering. I don’t want to hurt anyone but I also miss B and would lik things to work out.

Does anyone have any advice or reading to recommend us besides Polysecure?