Safe sex? with a LDR who keeps adding more partners both of us are girls if that matters.

The people involved- Me

LDR GF (4yrs)

Her other 3 new partners (who all have their own partners) I didn't know about until yesterday

When we met and got together, She and I both only had NPs and neither of us were looking to add partners actively.

So first off, from an emotional perspective I'm not jealous, I'm very happy she has partners non LDR to meet her needs/wants, I might make a seperate post to address my feelings around me and her probably needing to consider de-escalating since she now has more non LDR partners she should be devoting her time to (currently it's in "hierarchy " of- Her NP, Me, Her long term BF, then these three new partners and possibly a few comets) Feel free to give advice on that too.. but this is specific to safe sex so let's focus on that----

She and I will be talking about all this tomorrow, and I will be setting a rule/boundary, that I need to know if she's getting casually, serious/and especially sexual with a partner like soon after she knows, I'm on immunosuppressive meds so it's high risk for me, plus I feel like at least knowing how many ppl she's seeing is important to me.

Here's the thing, I have one other partner, and he's my NP (married and fluid bonded) that's it, I've not had to talk to a partner about safe sex, as he only has one other partner and they currently do not have fluid exchange sex for their own personal reasons, my NP will let me know should his partner want to change that as it is her that has the boundary not me or him.

I both have no idea how to navigate my gf having 3 new partners in the span of 6 months, as I can't manage that kind of lifestyle personally, no shade to ppl who can, that's actually really awesome imo and I wish I could have more partners, but I'm definitely too introverted and yeah.. anyways.. I also have no idea how to navigate a talk about safe sex.. for one thing 2 of her 3 new partners identify as They/Them/Fae/Her and They/Them/Her and I respect that and at the same time for safe sex I feel like I kind of need to know the anatomy situation for my own informed choices about mine and her sex lives going forward? (Yes thats actually a question) seriously if I'm being disrespectful I swear it's not on purpose, I have no idea how to navigate ANY of this and welcome talking points and ways to make sure I BOTH have my concerns addressed, while ALSO respecting everyone's identities in the conversation, I won't be talking to any of her partners, so this is a conversation happening just between my GF and I.

Thank you for any help and again I swear I am not being disrespectful I seriously don't have any idea how Safe Sex talks work with Gender fluid? (They/Them/She /Faes) AND in general how they work with someone who has a total of 6 partners, my gf and I are fluid bonded and I hope we can stay that way.

The plan is for me to go visit soon so I need to make sure I'm prepared for our sexual situation, whatever that may entail.