Let me preface this by saying I'm pretty sure my NP has something called intermittent explosive disorder. He also abuses alcohol, so that clearly doesn't help. I'm struggling with the fact that I'm the only partner of his who has to see & experience these issues. My meta(s) don't have to see his tantrums. They don't have to smell the alcohol on his breath or experience the alcoholic rages. They don't have to hear him yelling when something triggers him. They don't hear him punching the walls and screaming "fucking bitch" when there's a disagreement. If I interrupt him when he's speaking, he gets upset (I try not to, but we both have ADHD, which makes it difficult to not interrupt each other), but I've been around when other partner(s) have interrupted him and he just lets it go. If I leave a dish in the sink instead of putting it in the dishwasher, he gets irritated (not necessarily explosive, but I can tell he's angry). But if a partner of his does it, he just puts it in the dishwasher for them without a word. My meta(s) don't have to walk on eggshells around him like I do. His body language is not aggressive when others are around. He can clearly control his explosiveness around them, so why does he let it out around me? Do they not have to experience it because he lets all his anger out at me? Am I just the figurative punching bag (don't take that literally, he's never hit me) that allows him to have good relationships with others?