I am very new to d/s power dynamics. I (28F) started conversing with a man (52M), a little over a week ago, who has been in the poly and d/s space for many years. We’ve been almost in constant communication since we hit it off. He has a new-ish ENM partnership, she is married with children.

Initially, very flirtatious and lustful. Messaging novel worthy smut back and forth, pictures, and videos. This goes on for several days until we met up on Saturday morning. We spent nearly 5 hours together. Relatively vanilla sex, pausing frequently to talk and essentially edging together.

He educated me on sub drop and aftercare. We have discussed it a couple times since. He spent the night with me on Sunday. Another ~2 hours playing with our first intense scene together. We snuggled and fell asleep.

Sex and breakfast when we wake up, and I guess while I was cooking, He told the other partner about us; she was upset as I suppose they haven’t clearly defined their ENM relationship. I asked what He needed of me for support, so we talked through some of what was happening with it. I provided light touches and reassurance for Him but ultimately said I wasn’t quite sure how to proceed with support. I regret asking if He could leave…

We have difficult work schedules, and we’re depriving ourselves of sleep to stay up talking all the days prior. With His relationship challenges I wanted to give them space to sort things out. We discussed this and He reassured me I wasn’t doing anything wrong, He doesn’t want any communication boundaries we have to change.

To my surprise, He said He is so interested in what we have that He has been fumbling around the idea of switching. But with us being in the full swing of the work week, we haven’t talked much.

I’m afraid I’m experiencing my first sub drop… I’ve been emotionally labile the last 24 hours and so so insecure. I tried sending Him a passionate text early this morning before He woke up, saying I was thinking of Him and ~us~, fondly recalling the weekend. He just gave the message a heart and that’s it. I just texted and asked if He was experiencing guilt, shame, or sub drop. He quickly apologized for lack of communication due to working.

Am I in over my head? I’m journaling… reading up on this lifestyle, trying to open up the conversation with Him.

Do you think I’m too invested already after such a short time? I’m confused and anxious. This was supposed to be fun. I’ll answer questions and would love feedback to help me process.

TL/DR: week old d/s relationship, dom is poly and having primary partner challenges, lack of communication post intense scene makes me worried I’m slipping into sub drop??