My husband, m (38) has been dating his girlfriend, f (50) for the last year. She is really nice and kind to me. I do well one on one time with her but not when it's the three of us. My partner is in grad school and has limited time in his 2 year program. It's been a tension in the marriage as I try to be supportive but there's been withdrawal of intimacy and time since starting the program and has gotten worse since dating his girlfriend.

I have been doing lots of therapy for my recent diagnosis of CPTSD. Prior to this I have caused a lot of damage to the marriage with my reactivity and emotional flashbacks. I now see three therapists and doing SE exercises to repair the relationship but it's still after 9 months there's the same issues.

This week I had plans that I made months ago and had to rearrange a couple times. One of them was a request to change dates by my husband. He is on rotations during this period and so it worked out to be out of town this weekend because he is out of town for his clinical rotations. Well, he planned to come back to get a crown done on his tooth. I still left but had asked we make plans to listen to a podcast and book together to help rebuild our rapport. I came back tonight and his girlfriend who was supposed to be gone for two weeks is back this Monday. He wants to spend time with her, the last day he has and the day he is driving back.

I am heartbroken. And try to express my grief and all I get is "okay" from him as he continues to fiddle with a project. Not even taking the time to look at me.

I don't know what to do but I want to distance myself. I don't even enjoy the sex we have anymore because it seems mechanical and not any real pleasure.

He says he doesn't want to divorce but his actions really demonstrates differently.

What can I do to help myself from spiraling and being affected by his decisions?