The more I research the terms, the more confused I am.

Can someone please explain the differences between mono, poly, ktp, cuck, stag, open relationship, swinging, fwb, flr, dadt ...

Obviously I would prefer to discuss this with my partner, but every time I bring it up, he seems to shy away from the conversation. Even though we have had previous conversations and even a short term ktp poly relationship last year.

Now even though we set up rules and boundaries I was happy with at the time, my fantasies have evolved to wanting to consider some form of ENM, truth be told and I can't exactly say how but he kinda sorta has his name in the game and of course he knows that, and has mentioned it several times over our 10 year relationship. I don't want to use that against him, but my thought is how cool and unique of a situation would it be if he was one. Which got me to thinking, and researching and just becoming obsessed with the idea. Now im starting to think, I believe he really is trying to give me clues to discover this but doesn't seem to want to discuss it. Which is weird to me as I would prefer to openly communicate. (I don't understand the whole deal with dadt, it just doesn't sit right with me.)

I would lov some advice, ideas, links, topics, movies, music anything to attempt to bring up the subject again. He is very busy running his business but we have a very close and solid relationship, leading me to belive I am just making this all up in my head and am wrong for the way I think, feel, or see things.

Now I can also understand the psychology behind his point of view. Maybe he is feeling forced into this position, although at the time he very much seemed to enjoy and thought and fantasy of it all.

I don't need ENM, but am and always have been fascinated by the idea. I have alot of love and compassion to give and just feel everything way too deeply. I don't want to lose him or make him feel that our relationship is anything less than perfect in my mind. I mean Y would true soul mates or twin flames with possible mental telepathy even feel the need to want to pursue something more than we have with each other?

Now if we are both having the same thoughts and ideas, why is it that neither one of us feel like just saying anything about it is impossible, or the words that come out when the topic is brought up just yo-yo each other around to feeling too caged in and just completely unable to have a real discussion about it.

Incase it matters we are both in our 40s we've had previous relationships prior to meeting and even discussed some form of open relationship when we first met, decided against it, which was great up until we had attempted a poly connection last year, with a lot of boundaries and rules, life and scheduling set in place that just made the whole situation too much to handle. Maybe I just think too much or have way too much time on my hands. How do I stop feeling this way? I am making myself insane & depressed. I realize that in itself is hurting our relationship, which is the very last thing I want to do.