Hey everybody. I have some advice that I’m seeking for my current situation. I will try to make it as brief as possible.

I am a 27 year old gay guy who is dating a 23 year old gay man. We both agree that we want to be in an open relationship, but there appears to be different styles between us.

For me I am not often thinking about anyone besides my partner. I will message others in a semi-sexual tone but it’s nothing I go out of my way for. Same with sex. I visited some friends for the weekend and we hooked up but I didn’t think about it before it happened or even tried to plan it. It was very casual. Afterwards I spent the rest of the weekend just relaxing as normal.

My partner is the opposite. He is constantly looking for guys online to flirt with and try to coordinate things with. He also does a lot of ERP (erotic role play) with others. This often comes in the way of time I’d like to spend with him, like us watching a movie at the house together. I picked him up from the airport one time and he spent it info-dumping about this person he wanted to invite to our hotel room. I will ask my partner and he will say he’s not sexually satisfied by me. But I wish he gave me more attention.

Am I in the wrong here or is my partner or is this a case in which we are both wrong (or both right)? I’m genuinely curious.