I (she/they) recently reconnected with an old coworker of mine (C, she/her) who I used to work with before either of us transitioned. Whenever we were hanging out, there was an incredible amount of sexual and romantic tension between us, made worse by the fact that we were in her pillow fort listening to bass-heavy music and in red lighting, which tends to turn both of us on. We did this pretty consistently for a couple weeks, then her monogamous boyfriend (P, he/him) (who I was aware of and is the reason I didn't act on anything) came to visit for a few months.

C talked to P about poly and ENM, having expressed that she's never seen relationships as requiring exclusivity but her boyfriend does. She didn't tell me how that conversation went until the last time I went over, when I found out he had given her a list of "boundaries" that included: fuck buddies only, no lovey dovey shit in C's mom's house, and if P gets uncomfortable at any time he can call it off. He also initially had a rule that C couldn't fuck preexisting friends, but she talked him out of that one. I was starting to feel a little unsure, but I didn't really get a chance to think about this.

C and I were both too nervous to make the first move, so nothing happened right away. P came into the room and offered to make us some fries, and when he left I suggested we wait to get busy until that was done. About 30 minutes later P comes back in and sees we're still dressed, and he starts very intensely encouraging C to get my shirt off and for us to get busy. Then he left. We started having sex and then P comes back in with a chair and starts watching. This wasn't talked about, but neither of us had an issue with it (I like being watched) so we kept going.

Here's where things took a turn for the worse. After we finished, P came up and started sucking my nipples, out of nowhere, far too rough to be pleasurable. Throughout the night, he would do that occasionally if my tits were out, and also kissed me and put his hand on my neck (with far too much pressure on the front of my throat), saying things that kind of gave off chaser vibes. At one point, he said he was very opposed to this whole idea, but then he saw me come in "looking like that." (I was wearing a shit that showed off a little extra cleavage for C's enjoyment, but not for his.) He even shoved his fingers up my ass with no lube and was extremely rough. He also made me call him daddy, which is a term I reserve for only one partner at a time.

Eventually he made us both get dressed in sexy clothes he'd bought for C and brought us both upstairs, where he made us help with the fries and kissed and groped us both in front of C's mom. As I was leaving at the end of the night, P loaded a bunch of those clothes off on me and told me that next time I have to wear one of those outfits, spend the night, and be ready to be fucked hard.

I've been feeling very violated. My nipples hurt bad enough I can't really wear a bra, they are angry, red, and bruised, and I have bruises on the rest of my boobs as well. I really like C, but I don't exactly feel safe going back to her house. I'm supposed to have every Tuesday night with C going forward, and while I'd like to continue things with her I don't want anything to do with P after this. Is it worth trying to go back and enjoy what I can?