Hi reddit. I (34f) am in a maybe-relationship? with Aspen (30s m), and dude is married, working full time and taking classes. Obviously all this plus boundaries set (no spontaneous hangouts, no overnights, no travel, I'm probably missing a few here) means we don't get together often. Despite being in the same city, he's probably more of a comet at this point.

Anyway, I've asked him if he's available on some nights next week before I make my own plans, and he said some thing to the effect of, "I'm really indecisive when it comes to planning." This was a couple days ago and the subject hasn't been brought up since. In the meantime, my schedule is getting full. I want to make time for him and he knows this (I said it) but like... bruh. Really? That's your response?

So is this a red flag, if so, how big, and if not, where do I go from here? Big feelings have been expressed in the 3 months we've been in each others' lives and I don't want to chuck that all out because of schedule differences especially if they may be temporary.

HOWEVER this really sucks and I feel bad a lot of the time that we can't get together. The boundaries are already new to me (got out of a 7 year mono relationship earlier in the year) and then...indecisiveness? When we talk every day? I am so confused and hurt.

So if you were me, how would you handle it? More patience, more partners, or, "boy, bye" (insert Beyoncé gif here)?

Thanks for reading. I appreciate this sub existing.