Been polyamorous for years.

Had friends move in, bc they’re moving from a different state. Ended up connecting. Kinda exploring partner feels with each other.

I am a college student with a history of homework trauma and I have adhd. I hadn’t taken my meds yesterday. Getting screamed at inches away from my face when struggling through homework, being told derogatory things about how dare I not be able to figure things out.. so when I take exams or have big things in university I tend to get triggered.

Well. My new male counterpart decided sitting at the table while I did my exam would be supportive. I got nervous, unexpectedly felt stupid and like I was being watched. I also didn’t choose to prepare for the exam as I usually do.

I got a 62. I instantly shut down and went to my room to cry. While I was crying I fell asleep.

I sent texts this morning to apologize but I didn’t explain the trauma or the trauma response.

I’m nervous they’ll judge me or won’t want me. Or won’t believe me. Or take it too personally.

I don’t know if I should explain the trigger and trauma part.