As the title states, this situation more than likely has a simple solution but I’m interested enough to crowd source other perspectives.

I (37f) met him (35m) about 6 mos ago. We immediately hit it off in every way - sexually, intellectually, conversationally, you name it. We’re both new-ishly single (divorced, each have little kids) and independently arrived at ENM as a possible path for ourselves before meeting. We’ve discussed what we each want and have been open and honest about talking to other people when we do. We’ve each had one dating partner over the past 6 mos.

Here’s where it shifted for me: we spend a lot of time together. I think this is mostly due to exhaustion (re: little kids) and comfort level, but I know it’s also because of NRE, at least for me. As my emotions grew, I’ve kept him informed but his communication (or emotional awareness) isn’t as strong and I feel he’s become more and more vague with his responses/wants/needs. We’ve fallen into this purgatory position of no longer being only FWBs but also not partners. He started putting up defenses when I would bring up other men, and he started putting more energy into solo dates.

Over the past two weeks, I finally pulled the plug and told him how strongly I feel and that I would like to temporarily stop solo dating to nurture our relationship, and fully enjoy the NRE. I’d love for that to result in us partnering and continuing on solo dating as we please, but idk what’ll end up happening. My purpose of the request is to give this relationship the space and respect it deserves to organically move where it will and if that’s to something more committed, I need to build that security w him. I never planned on partnering but I generally don’t “plan” much and prefer to let things flow on their own.

He doesn’t want to stop. That’s his answer and he’s very clear about that. He wants to keep seeing me and doing what we’re doing. Ok! Fine, I have my answer. This should be simple. I’ve never been great at prematurely cutting off feelings so my next logical step is to see him when I want to and stop when it no longer feels good. But this guy! We’ve exchanged ‘I love yous’ but it doesn’t even matter because his ACTIONS TELL ME HE LOVES ME. I’ve never been with a man like this and he’s just so, so, so perfect. I’d be comfortable with him around my kids (his kids already love me), we want the same things, and I’m insanely attracted to him. I want so badly to soak in the warmth of this relationship before it fades away.

Just for some extra color - his issue in past relationships has always been jealousy. Mine is minimizing my worth. It does feel like he wants me to see women only, but he hasn’t and probably wouldn’t say that aloud. Wise people, deliver the advice I need in the most direct and harsh way possible. Thank you in advance