I (58M) have been poly for seven years. I have spent two of those years in a wonderful, loving relationship with a amazing woman. We are currently living together. She is very strong in her poly beliefs, and has made them very clear to me on a number of occasions, the top rule being informed consent if I begin unprotected sex with a new partner. I blew this rule. I don't know why I did this, other than the irrational and childish fear of what she would think and say when I told her. She has never given me any reason to believe that she would react badly. I fucked up, and now she has no reason whatsoever to ever trust me again. I've reached out to a therapist, but it may be weeks before I can get in to see them. I don't know what to do. I'm an idiot. I don't want to lose her as a partner.