I started dating M in 2020 and due to a weird situation, we ended up moving in together almost right away. Oddly it worked really well. When we got together we wanted to be poly from the start. A few months later I started dating B. Unfortunately he lives in another city about 45 minutes away but things went pretty well for a while. Recently I started making plans to move in with B initially out of necessity but later because I wanted to.

The problem is I've felt like my relationship with M has lost a lot of its romance. I love what we have but it's much more of an intellectual connection. Fortunately I do have that in my relationship with B. I talked with M about it and he agreed that he felt things have faded for a while now. Neither of us know what to do about it and the fact that I'll be staying more with B than I am now probably won't help. We are both neurodivergent and pretty low energy people and we really don't know what to do about it.

I just feel like whatever I choose to do I will be hurting someone and I'm afraid to lose M but living in limbo is just hurting both of us. I think I'd be happy being monogamous with B but I also don't always trust my brain and my perceptions. What if I'm wrong? Are there types of metamores where romance isn't part of it or am I just kidding myself and just describing a friend? Am I giving up on a good thing when I should be fighting to get our romance back?

Sorry there isn't much of a question here I'm just really struggling. I think that I'm trying to have my cake and eat it too and am too chicken shit to pick a side to sit on.