It's a longer story, but to be "somewhat short", I have been dating my partner for a year now and we have been polyamorous since the start. A friend of mine, who was traveling for a year, had recently moved back. One night my partner and I ran into him and he quickly pulled me aside and asked if they were single. I was shocked because I thought he at least knew we were dating since he's seen us together multiple times, social media, blah blah blah. It was so funny to me that I said "well yes but in the poly kind of way". He later spam texted me that night saying how much he wants to get to know them. I responded in the morning telling him the context of us dating and that my partner is not interested in men (she's lesbian). He felt bad for making me feel uncomfortable, but I forgave him. No big deal! But oh no. 2 weeks later my partner who now has recently decided to explore men again, excitingly told me my friend had asked them on a date. He didn't consult me before so I felt betrayed and angry that he snuck around like that. My partner to an extent understands why I'm hurt, but doesn't want to "judge" him and wants to go on the date, so I set the boundary of not wanting to hear about it even though I would rather much prefer them not to. I totally would have been fine with that if he just ran it by me. Another complicating factor is I'm close to his recent ex-girlfriend of 7 years and she has been going through hell since the breakup, so I empathize with her. He has been acting problematic ever since, hit on my friend to an uncomfortable point, and was being transphobic to a trans woman who recently came out. He didn't need to ask my permission, just a heads up!! Now my partner thinks I'm just jealous and possessive. I am confused, hurt, and feel like our relationship is strained now.