TLDR: Partner of 8 months added a close friend as a partner. Have really strong panic and anxiety seeing them intimate together.

Longer Version: My partner B has had a close friend since we met. We'll call them Z. Z and i got off to a bad start right away, but slowly built up a "friendship". B and Z did a bdsm scene at a party together a while back and i had a pretty bad panic attack about it. B has another partner, H whome she lives with. Ive NEVER had reactions like that to B and H so i was very concerned and embarrassed that i acted that way.

Now: Z asked B to be together to which B agreed. B tried to xommunicate this to me, but i initially misunderstood. Past that hurtle, even the thought of them holding hands or using pet names brings back the feeling from that first panic attack and i dont know why!

I want her to be happy and do what she wants. Im just afraid if i dont figure this out that the only option will be for me to leave the cule and i DONT want that to happen.

We fell in love fast and hard, but i want her to be my forever. I want Z to feel included and a part of our weird little family. I jist cant figure out where that panic comes from...