I try writing poems about falling in love
with you
but instead, they end up sounding cautionary-
everything I have ever had to let go of
wears scars
from my claw marks.
I guess I desperately try to hold on to things.
Whether it be a drug, a memory, or an actual human being,
Something inside me is annoying and needy
As soon as whatever-it-may-be
begins slipping through my grasp,
I clutch,
and with bitten fingernails,
I try to dig in deep
in hopes that they don’t leave me.
Just like everyone else.
Just like the time before.
And the time before that.
Abandonment issues must be trendy
Nobody ever really seems to want to stay
We all seem to have problems with commitment
especially when it comes down to flaws.
I love you, I really do.
Why?
I honestly wish I didn’t.
I am so wide open;
I was like this when you met me
You swear to love me all the same.
Being broken isn’t beautiful
Not wanting to fix myself is stubborn
Misery may love company
but
I just can’t let you stay here and drown
I don’t know if I have ever mentioned before
I don’t know how to swim