My reasons for quitting (or "costs") aren't all present at the same time, they don't always show up and not with the same severity. Often it can just be a minor slap at the wrist, or not noticeable at all. If it is ALWAYS super bad WHENEVER I used REGARDLESS of duration between usages ("moderation"), then I'd quit right away. But that's not the case, so I often second-guess quitting at all, and if I don't, then I think of moderation as a more reasonable route.

The ambiguity and inconsistency of the costs, coupled with the promise of what PMO could provide, make me end up going back to it in a day or so.

PS: I do not completely agree with easypeasy - my perspective is more in like with the freedom model book. Most importantly, I am not convinced at all that PMO has no pleasure or that all of it is just the perceived "relief of frustration". I do notice frustration and relief in my sessions, but I'm not convinced all the pleasure is simply relief.

If anyone has any insights, please give me advice or perspectives to consider.