I'm a poly, M married swinger disabled bi M. Like, this term fits me. I'm 42. I spent a long time never knowing how to communicate my desires. I grew up watching porn that was always male centric. I thought God damn dude eat her out. Soft core skinamax (rip) was better but I just kind of taught myself. I want to enjoy her. I have had various lovers over the years. To me I was always in art to being that skillfully. When I lust or love someone that sexual component is do intrigal to bonding with them. I'm fascinated with her. I went down on a trans woman in a porn theater one time, it was great but I haven't seen her in a year. I didn't get to explore her like I wanted to, it'swas fun, but not ,it's not I didnt have her see the face of God cuz daddy took his time good... Ahem. I don't know where I'm going with this. My marriage is we love together fine, but not anything else. Mutuel hurt does that. But damn I crave that from someone. That control. That ownership yet delightful not degrading. But that's who iam yet it's depressing because I miss's that.