The first time I noticed the cyst, I was still in a relationship that was nearing a breakup in the summer of 2020.

By December, it had shrunk and returned to the size of a dime nearly 2-3 times. By this point I knew something was different. This was no ordinary ingrown hair or random body phenomenon - this was something different. Annoyed by the little red button on my tailbone, but not enough to do anything about it, I entered 2021 single and ignorant to the fact that it would simply never go away.

I’m young, sexually active, and bi - mix those together and you’ll find your ass in some places. Needless to say, sex was tricky. With men, I was rarely bottoming, so I didn’t have to worry (too) much there. But it was still heavily prevalent in my mind, with both men & women. I mean, you’re naked and hands are flying and you never know when someone might graze your lower back, or notice how you enter the shower with your ass facing away from them, or xyz. Some would ask, others wouldn’t say a thing, and thankfully none of them really cared - but i did. And after a year and a half of navigating a sex life with a cyst, I was tired of feeling ashamed because of it.

Now it’s 2022, I had started researching, diving into reddit forums, listening to stories with gruesome details, and losing sleep over this dime-sized cyst on my tailbone.

What came next was a heavy feeling of sadness and hopelessness. I had never had surgery. I was/am in great shape, workout routinely, and never experienced something that didn’t just “go away”.

My friends all knew about it at this point, so it was a common joke around the house. They made me feel seen and heard, and the jokes honestly helped me not take it as seriously as it was in my head. But i was still determined to do something about it.

After my annual checkup, I went to a general surgeon my PCP referred me to. Apparently he had experience in this type of surgery. So I met with him, and he was okay. He wanted to perform a closed-stitch surgery and I didn’t feel comfortable with that but booked a surgery anyways - I mean the co-pay alone was $100 so why not? Come to find out, he had a horrible review from a mother whose son went to him recently and had the worst recovery imaginable.

I work in-office, marketing, and sit quite a bit, so the nearly month-long recovery of an opened/closed stitch surgery really worried me. So the search continued…

Until I stumbled across a thread where someone shared their story. One that didn’t involve a month-long recovery, or a reoccurrence down the road, or a butchered ass crack, and the physician was in a 3hr distance from where I lived. Once I called the office of Dr. Lambert., they set me up with an appointment and I was eager to scope it out first-hand.

Meeting with Dr. Lambert was great. He reassured me, listened to me, and answered any questions that I had. The surgery he wanted to do and typically performed was the cleft-lift - where they essentially cut out the cyst and flap the skin over, off-setting your midline or asscrack.

I was worried my ass would be a goner. I mean, what if I wanted to bottom or not feel ashamed of my ass anymore? Despite my fear I reassured myself that this was the right decision, and it was.

Before the surgery, I had to pay roughly $2,900 - this covered the surgery itself, labor, etc. Overall, I spent around $3,100, with insurance. The surgery itself was so much better than I anticipated.

With his office nearly 3 hours away from my home, I had my mom drive me to Dallas where he was performing the surgery. The day of, we got there at around 7 AM, where the nurse took my vitals and prepped me for pre-op.

Once the nurse rolled me back to the operating room, I was out.

Waking up, I felt disoriented, and the nurse said I was being quite feisty as I awoke from the anesthesia. After 30 minutes or so, I got dressed, and they rolled my ass out of there. For the rest of the day, I stayed in bed (at a nearby hotel) ate soup and slept. Thank god for mothers, as mine was so considerate and helpful throughout the process.

The drive home was uncomfortable, but bearable.

I was able to walk easily, but sitting and bending over was a different story. Over the next two weeks, I didn’t shower, sit much, or do anything too extraneous. Pooping didn’t happen until day 4, with the help of some meds. My roommates would change my gauze where my drains were twice, every day. The best way I could describe the drains are like two tiny penne noodles sewn onto your ass. Sometimes I would have to double pack one of them with gauze to avoid them leaking on my clothes. All in all, once i went back to get them removed, it felt like nothing - maybe a slight pinch.

Thankfully my employer let me Wfh for those two weeks, so i only really took off 1-3 days and worked bedside for the rest - capitalism amIright??

I didn’t really go to the gym for a month or so, and once I did, I stuck to upper body for another month (give or take).

Now, nearly 4 months after my surgery, my life is back to normal. I can do anything i did before, and not have to worry about being cautious or afraid to let my ass be seen.

My ass is still ass’ing, and the scar is not bad visually (happy to share pics for serious inquires).

Overall, my advice would be to save and invest in getting it removed - by a surgeon who is experienced and understanding. It’s really that simple. The rest you can figure out along the way.

Let me know if you have any questions, as i’ve been on that side of the screen.