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Script :

[Magic sound effects] - optional

And that is why you don't turn your back on me~. [Chuckles] -oh wait, why am I even talking to a dead person.

[Bushes rustling]

Hmm?

[Looks behind]

[Sighs] [talking in a low voice] if you're gonna be sneaking around on me atleast try to hide properly. I can clearly see you poking your head from behind the bush.

You can come out now! I already know you've been hiding in there.

[Bush sounds]

Smiling huh? Hmm, maybe if I just sucked half the blood out of you, you'd be a bit more intimidated by me.

[Chuckles] Oh~? Trust me darling, you're saying that you'd enjoy it now, but when my teeth sink into your soft mortal skin, that smile on your face is gonna turn into despair. You don't want to be messing around with me. Speaking of which, why do you even follow me around? Don't you have, you know, a life to go back to? Mortals have a pretty short lifespan, so I wouldn't be wasting my precious time following me around if I was you. Especially considering that, being near me is probably gonna shorten your already limited lifespan by a few dozen years.

[Laughs] You just want to be friends? What~? you think I'm a very friendly and wholesome person to be around? I'm a damn vampire you idiot, I don't do friendships- well, unless I want to save up some blood for later, but I doubt being a walking, talking blood bank is the kind of friendship you're looking for. So let me just, pop that silly bubble you put yourself in, and make it clear to you. I am not a nice person. I'm an immortal vampire that massacres people just so I can extend my miserable life even more. And, I know those stupid movies, TV shows, cartoons and what not that you kids watch these days, have been making it seem so cool to be a vampire. But it definitely is nothing like that. And trust me, I had a whole 400 years to figure that out. And why do you even want to be my friend? I've been nothing but rude to you ever since we've met eachother.

You... Oh wow... This again huh? [Sigh]. Falling for my pretty looking face~. Definitely haven't seen that before. [Sigh] look, kid, I know that you're young, so it makes sense for you to find my never aging body attractive, but you gotta understand that I'm literally older than your grandma. Hell, I am probably older than your entire generation.

[Chuckles] Age is just a number huh? So you're telling me that you wouldn't mind dating someone as old as your grandma?

[Laughs] as long as they're hot enough? Well, atleast you made me laugh, so I'll give you that. But seriously, you really need to stop, whatever it is that you're trying to accomplish with all this. Because if it wasn't for you saving my life that day, I would definitely not be tolerating you for so long. Humans that lack skills necessary for my needs, are nothing more than flesh and blood in my eyes.

Oh~? So you got skills that can come handy to me? Go on the then, what is it? You can, bring me blood bags every now and then? Bring me fresh victims maybe? Or, give me the locations of criminals, so I can drink their blood without feeling guilty?

[Chuckles], You can give the best hugs and cuddles? Oh boy. [Smiles] Okay, if I met you, like, I don't know, 400 years or so ago? Back when I was still a mortal human, I'd probably find that very cute. In-fact, I might've even considered going out with you~. But the thing is, I'm a vampire now. And you definitely don't want to be cuddling up with a vampire.

[Groans] okay, you seem to be either a bit slow, or just plain ignorant. So I'll just show you what I mean. Here, give me your hand.

Come on? Give me your hand?

What happened?

[Chuckles] it's too lewd? You kids and your anime cultures I swear. Come on just give me your hand.

[Holds hand]

So, you feeling anything? Anything, seem a bit unnatural to you?

Yeah, my hands are very cold. So is my entire body. So, unless you want to freeze to death, I don't think your hugs and cuddles are gonna work on me.

You bet you can make it work? [Chuckles] you sound like my ex~.

Oh~? What happened? Your face kinda went sour after hearing about my ex. I hope you didn't expect me to be single for the whole 400 years I've been alive? Because I assure you, I've been with many other men. Some of which have stayed with me till their very last breath.

But have they given me hugs and cuddles? Man, you are very adamant about that aren't you? Why don't you just-

Okay~, okay~ I'll answer you. No. None of them have given me, hugs and cuddles because I didn't let them. Because that'd be very uncomfortable and dangerous for them, which, wouldn't be the most pleasurable experience for me. Because, when you love someone, you tend to not want them to be uncomfortable. Even if they're doing something to make you happy. Does it make sense to you?

You still think you can figure something out? [Chuckles] okay. Since you did save me the other day, I'll agree to go on this, I guess you can call it, a cuddle date? I'd like to see you try to figure out, how you can cuddle me, without you freezing to death. But let me make this clear to you. The moment you try to be weird, you're gonna end up like this guy over here. Which, now that I think about it, I should've just took care of his body before we talked. We kinda had a whole conversation Infront of a dead body [goggles]. Maybe you're not so innocent as you seem after all, if you can ask a girl on a date Infront of a corpse~.

Well, since you've got what you wanted, how about you head home so I can take care of this mess and get going myself.

[Chuckles] I'm not turning into a bat Infront of you, so just leave now, before I decide to cancel our date.

When are we going on the date? Well, if you can follow me around everywhere, I believe you should be able to figure that out by yourself as well? So if you'd excuse me, I have a dead body to bury.

[Walking sounds]

Stay safe by the way.

[Walking stops]

Wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you. Would be a shame if you ended up dying before you got a chance to show me what you've planned for our date. [Smiles].

[Walking sounds]