When I just turned 35, it occurred to me that i needed to get in touch with someone. I noticed posts from r\phhookups ,r4rphdating and r4r friends. I wanted to see if even if i am introverted i can try to connect and if i can maybe i can try "dating" or at least the process of starting something more intimate than friends.

About Me:

I really want to make it a point that I am not perfect, and I don’t want people reading this to view me as without flaws. I know that it’s the part where we want to show others, but I feel it goes against what a relationship Is, I think it should be based on "truth" and "trust". By telling my "truths” I hope it gains "trust". I also dislike having a “halo” effect placed on me. I am going to try to have some pros and cons when telling things about myself.

If someone though wants to pursue growth in the relationship here are some things I can for certain say I can share or restrict to

Google Timeline – You can now my history wherever I go, I don’t have anything to hide (I have seen\read a lot of posts of men cheating etc. or not telling the truth)

Shared Facebook profile – I really don’t use facebook aside from the Marketplace when I am trying to sell or greet relatives Restrict Bank accounts until the knot is tied – I won’t ask for your money. We don’t need to share info, we can share how much we earn (Let’s try to both be safe. I have heard stories about theft) Faith\Religion\Mindset – I will not use Ephesians 5:22 and 25 as a way to control. I have seen its worst effects along with the mindset that “ I CAN DO ANTHING SINCE ITS MY MONEY\PLACE”. We should still have our areas of safe space but if it will affect the other partner, it is better to ask first.

I am more open minded but will still try to do what is needed for Church when I am able. I NEED to listen to Christian music when I drive to work since it’s a good time to just listen

For those still reading, here is what one of our churches Album released early this year(Worth listening to and sharing)

Patungo Album by Word International Taytay

S. Activities- My weakness\sin but I am still holding on in keeping it at bay and wont force the other party , up until a “Yes” is said for marriage(with some caveats)

Keeping it at bay is still disgusting if I am as truthful as I should be. I don’t see women as just a way to finally experience "it"(its blocked here) or look for it BUT to be truthful (I hate myself for this) but it’s still a nonzero percentage at the back of my mind.

One of the other sources of fights\lies that appear is that men still watch other real women for comfort. I do rarely watch “real” porn, and I do not follow OF or such. I do still get subreddit posts which I sadly still click. The main way I get the dopamine\rest is by reading doujins and using Onaholes. If you don’t know what those are here is a sample. Story is unrealistic but I consider it sweet

NSFW\NSFW\NSFW\NSFW

NSFW\NSFW\NSFW\NSFW

Onahole and Doujin Example

This is pretty tame. There are worse. Kindly take note that I don’t really like to share this (but I do share some tech related things I discovered with regards to handling this) and I don’t support propagating but as I stated no lies and only truths.

35, 5”5 62Kg (22.8 BMI ), Antipolo , Introverted, Working, Hobbies: PC (Games\Builds\reddit), Audiobooks(Isekai, Sci-Fi,Adult) Morning Person. Doesn’t Drink, no Drugs, no smoke or vape.

Neutral:

I don’t want to rush, that’s why I am looking for someone that I at least have a bond with games\audiobooks maybe some series? TO just break the ice although I am open to discuss some stories and life happenings. I don’t really talk about other stuff but I am active in tech\PC and laz\shopee subreddits.

Neutral:

Antipolo area I think is necessary for this or at least near.

35, 5”5 62Kg (22.8 BMI ),

I am on the skinnier side. They said I am the lighter side of skin color(not Caucasian white)

Positive:? I think I look average 6-7 normally and maybe a bit better when I am fully groomed (new haircut).

Negative: My normal Filipino voice is not as good as when I do my English, this is based on of how people say about me when I worked as a CSR as a bit.

Introverted along with current mindset:

Neutral: I don’t want to rush, that’s why I am looking for someone that I at least have a bond with games\audiobooks maybe some series? TO just break the ice although I am open to discuss some stories and life happenings. I don’t really talk about other stuff, but I am active in tech\PC and laz\shopee subreddits. I get to open up better. I think I am more of a listener but can open up if given the chance or at least if I know that the person already knows me WITH my faults

Negative:
I am not going to do KDramas\Kpop. I really don’t have any idea who or what they do. there are things that I find or repulsive, in Politics like going for DDS or Quib(like really?). Anyone saying Trump is better than Biden.

I don’t really have any idea on what or where to start since this will be the first relationship that I will be entering with a goal to be more than friends, so that means I WILL need HELP(or at least help each other). I am not emotionally unstable, but I have experienced panic attacks due to my faults\pressure and not knowing. It’s self-harm thoughts and not lashing out since the trigger is me. (I still don’t curse or anything, but maybe leading up to it I am not as nice as I want to be, more on this later)

Positive: I don’t really speak or curse. Raised as a Christian (With faults) and do not use those vocabulary words. When I was still active there was a wordcloud in Dota 2 and you won’t see ANY rude words (I am quite pleased with that). So as with my negatives my faith does save me. What scares me is I think I am a “bad” person just raised as correct as my parents can make me (with some faults which I understand based on their history)

Working

Neutral: Works in Antipolo as a Tech job for a very specialized company. I have worked in a BPO for 7 years and stopped a year or 2(depending on if you count work for 2-3 months) before pandemic Hit.

Negatives: It’s not a high paying job. Room for growth minimal unless I choose money over mental\physical health and try again to go back to working in Makati (I will probably stay in our place in Makati though)

Positive: Near (10 minute Drive from home), Can handle the stress, Allows me to destress by letting me play PC games (Xbox Game Pass,Steam) Mostly Christians as well. It’s not perfect since there are still some things that can be better but not enough to make it bad.

Hobbies Reddit, mostly PC,Shopee and Tech subreddit. If not gaming or listening to Audiobook it normally means I do errands at home. My normal schedule below and on weekends Saturday is usually errand/grocery day.

I used to Play Soccer in Grade school, I still retain some of my badminton reflexes and even though I don’t work outi was still able to hit 8/10 when playing a batter game from Japan.

Also a bit of a nerd when i wwant to learn about lore or history of a thing i am interested in.

Favorite music will be Christian music(favorite Artist is Phil Wickham)

1000 Names

but as with that i do consider others

Ar Tonelico - EXEC_CHRONICLE_KEY/

As my other type of genre or likes. Recently i am also adding some AI.

What Rhymes with Even

Negative: I don’t do much, I will have to readjust since this will be the main time will be affected. That’s why as much as possible I am aiming for someone that can at least have the same time wasters as I do

Positive: If we have the same likes then at least I can finally have someone to play Co-op with

Morning Person (Time) I am not sure if this will be an issue in the relationship but might as well discuss it. I Sleep around 9-10PM, then wake up 4-5 AM. It doesn’t really matter if we are on vacation or not, that’s my sleep schedule. It is probably tied to my mental state to try to control what I can and as well as getting a good night’s sleep improves my mood. Also had an experience of going to sleep while driving so yeah, I am adamant on getting good sleep.

Negatives:

It’s hard to adjust. So right now, it’s going to be Noche Buena or New year so I adjust or sleep a bit later so that my body can stay awake longer an hour a day before the event. I sometimes also have a hard time readjusting when plan changes and do get annoyed. (I managed to stay awake till 11 PM)

Positives: NO traffic and doing things early mean I am first in line doing all chores\repairs errands etc done by mid-day. The roads are open and traffic free flowing, no stress when driving and no time wasted.

Doesn’t Drink, no Drugs, no smoke or vape

Positive: Pretty self-explanatory.

Negative: for things that I consume orally it will probably just a bit on the sweet side. I do buy some softdrink to drink a bit in the afternoon to keep myself awake. I do take blood tests and it’s normal at 90-95. So, no beers as well for get togethers. I try to stay away from these.

About you:

I feel like this is presumptuous of me. Finding someone to even reach this paragraph would be a miracle and i did sprinkle some of it along the way.

Maybe near my height or shorter with the same BMI?

More mature, it doesnt mean by age alone since even a younger one will probably more mature than me. We can start together though

NBSB? safer but not necessary its just that there is a fear on the back of my mind of being compared to someone better in areas where i am deficit. (Includes size, i am just average(worldwide not Ph))

Thanks for reading and hopefully you find partners who are all the right for you broken or not if it fits perfectly then its perfect for you.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Reddit chat or Message me after you think and ponder about it first.