I don’t think I mean to be this way. Distant. Detached. It’s just easier. Keeping to myself feels natural, like second nature. I watch people around me laughing, connecting so effortlessly, and I wonder how they do it. How do they slip into conversations without a second thought? How do they fill silences without feeling the weight of them?
I’ve always been more comfortable on the outside, observing rather than participating. It’s not that I don’t want to belong. I fucking do. But whenever I try, there’s this invisible wall, something I can’t quite push through. Maybe it's fear of saying the wrong thing, of not being enough, of being too much. So I retreat, staying in my own world where everything feels safer, quieter, under control.
People might think I don’t care, that I prefer being alone. But the truth is, I do care. I just don't know how to show it the way others do. Sometimes I think about what it would be like to let go, to just step in without hesitation. But then the moment passes, and I convince myself it’s better this way. Less complicated.
Still, there’s a part of me that wonders, what if I tried? What if I let someone in, even just a little? Would it really be as hard as I make it out to be? Or have I just grown too used to the comfort of being alone?
So here I am, reaching out in the only way I know how. If you're reading this, maybe you feel the same way too. Maybe connection doesn’t have to be so complicated after all. Want to give it a try?
Subreddit
Post Details
- Posted
- 19 hours ago
- Reddit URL
- View post on reddit.com
- External URL
- reddit.com/r/phlgbtr4r/c...