Heads up, this is me just overthinking life—dating, college, and being an introverted closeted guy. Maingay lang talaga utak ko lately.

The semester just started and I'm already starting to feel a bit lonely in school. I don't really have anyone to call as friends, just merely acquainted lang. That explains how I always end up being alone during breaks, since post-pandemic pa. Just returned from LOA after a long mental health treatment so I still have a lot to catch up with people and lessons.

I promised myself to socialize more this time. Pero parang nakalimutan ko na 'yung basics—like what cues to look for or how to even start. Discussed this with the guidance counselor and they advised to be more intentional with my attempts to interact.

There are days where I randomly think of dating a guy (preferably masc) with the same wavelength as me but the whole idea of it sounds a bit scary because firstly, I'm not out. My parents are super critical of anything LGBT, which makes coming out feel impossible at any moment or in the near future. I guess I act masculine enough for them not to question my sexuality, but there were a few times when I felt like they kinda caught on to some signs but just simply brushed off.

Secondly, as previously mentioned, I can't even socialize properly or hold long eye contact without feeling awkward. iykyk

Lastly, as cliche it may sound, there are expectations to meet if you're gonna commit to a relationship. I feel like it’d be hard to balance acads and a relationship unless I’m really careful and prepared. Baka genuine friend lang talaga kailangan ko. Just a self reminder, though, since I need to get As this semester to redeem myself and I can't really face the consequences of not meeting that. (Ang dami kong conditions lol, already sounds hopeless at this point.) Point is, the real intention why I posted this is because I'm hoping to find a person who has the same wavelength as mine and let's see where our conversations might lead.

If you're also a college student or a recent grad, that is way more preferable since we can talk about a lot of things and might share more commonalities, perhaps? Sana yung nagtatagalog rin, cos it's way better for the humor and deep conversations.

That's everything for now. Sa katips laging nakatambay. Chat me to know the rest of the details.