Is this normal?

There are times when I reminisce over the ex, or flashbacks come to me on a random time of the day and I always have to consciously shake it off and try to not think about him and consciously remind myself that I am living in the present and that the past is already over. For context: my first boyfriend cheated on me and it's been 4 months siince the breakup. It is always a struggle trying to live a normal day without feeling so left out. To be fair, I told myself that I needed to heal before entering another relationship and 4 months is already a long time, I guess? That is why I get so frustrated when there are still moments when I think about them when I really shouldn't be thinking about them 'cause it's already been months since. I could say that I'm partially healed naman. It doesn't hurt as much as it did before, although the trauma is still there. I can't even explain how I even got to this point of my life after all of the suffering and pain I went through. Who knew the person I so dearly loved would inflict such a deep wound in me that I am still healing until now.

Forgiving them is another topic since it has been hard for me to just accept everything without a proper apology- moreso with all the many things I knew after the relationship ended. To be honest, I shouldn't even be talking about this right now but I have to let this one go. It's a daily struggle but I have had my good and bad days. I acknowledge that healing from this will take a lot of acceptance and forgiveness and I am willing to do all these for the sake of my peace. Although my days have been peaceful since, I just can't get the thought of you to leave my head.

I have started to open my heart again to someone. Maybe kulang lang ako sa mwamwa at dilig kaya nagkaka ganito ako hahaha. Someday, I will completely heal and be okay, and on those days, I will completely forget all the hurt and the times I thought I wouldn't get over you.