So, to be honest, I didn't expect the amount of clout I'd get with the first post I made here. This is actually a 4th account kona and I've been in this subreddit for a while. If you know me, you know me. 😉

Anyway, as I said, after I posted the first post in this throwaway accout, marami na intrigue and somehow felt a relatability dun sa post na yun, which to my surprise was really shocking considering that post was just a random expression of what I felt at that moment I posted it.

Anyway, as the title suggests, this is me healing. Alongside this healing are the flashbacks and thoughts I never wish to think about again. Kaso minsan mahirap lang pag bigla-bigla ko nalang naaalala siya sa mga maliliit na bagay na we used to share before. I dreamt of him again for the first time in a while kanina, before I woke up. I clearly saw his face. He was unpacking his bag and we locked eyes. It was the first time I saw him again and good enough, I still remember how he looked like. It was a fast moment but I caught his face staring into mine and in that moment I realized how real it was, at least for me. I woke up to a realization that maybe I'll really never see him again. 🥺

It's been a month since we parted ways. Mahirap siya in a sense na I have all these thoughts and anxiety na baka I'll see him on a random day while I'm healing and I might relapse. 🫥

There's a side to me that wishes to not see him again, ever- until I heal. But a part of me wishes na I can talk to him again over coffee or we might have dinner ulit, or maybe he'd miss me and send me a text saying so.

In these times of grief and change, I just think na you moved to Singapore for good. Ang liit kasi ng city natin, and I wish not to see you for now. At least for the time na we're healing and figuring ourselves out.

It might not be our time yet, but I know na if the universe wants us to meet in this lifetime, we will, and I hope by then we are healed and happy na. ☺️

Thanks for all the positive responses everyone! I'll see y'all 🩵💛