While a lot of us indeed enjoy celebrations and gatherings, the gay inside us hate the reunions and gossip monger friends and relatives asking typical toxic Filipino questions: When are you getting married? Don't you have a bf/gf just yet? Are you gay why you don't have a gf just yet? Don't get too rich what will you do with your money when you grow up being alone.

For some time, I told myself I will stop attending reunions and gatherings. Firstly, for the purpose of not letting myself lose self-respect and endeavor self-preservation, and secondly, for getting away from emotional pains whenever I see all of my friends getting married, having children, and that stereotype lifestyle not fitting you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not doing self-pity here. I share this because I know how the queer society might be struggling at these times. When queer sometimes mean too promiscuous, finding sex and losing that emotional connection. When being queer means being deprived of practical dating and not finding role models where you'd be inspired one day life gets better being queer. When all these things come down to your head while in bed, you realize you are alone, trying your best not to be lonely, and while being alone try to find some thread of hope you wanna hold on to.

More strength I wish to those who experience the same. Whether you find this as a first world problem, I just want to recognize that human emotion I feel and let the world understand that our lives as queer, no matter how peculiar it is, sometimes gets tough. And maybe this is the reason why we are happy people, why we are brave courageous and strong, perservered and determined, because life not because it is hard but it is tougher than what most of us think. Let's brace ourselves queer folks. Days will get better soon after this holiday madness. Enjoy what you can enjoy but learn to move yourself out of some emotional misery. Cheers!